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Lowry calls by …

Hi Mr Lowry – really nice to see you again – lets just update you on the human progress pal – we got this amazing thing called the internet and we learned new ways of doing things – hold on to your hat man :) :) :)

Once upon a time we EXTRACTED black blobby stuff as you know.

After another extractive and violent war


we started to believe in violent ‘American’ mushrooms …

This is where you need to hang on to your hat Laurence :)

Are you ready?



Mushrooms fly 7,4020 miles to shops

We had run out of blobby stuff and heated our new buildings with gas from far off and war-zone yonder.

And we still imported 16,000 tons a day of blobby stuff to Elsemere port coal power station to power our facebook pages (tell you later what that is).

Oh – sorry – i forgot to tell you – we had a thing called digital cameras that made the pages come alive with glowing colors.

Here’s a modern day Lowry – what do you think – no paint?

“how did they do that?”

“Don’t know Laurence but – It were the end of Kodak – we were in an age where old ideas were vanishing before our eyes – people couldn’t keep up – banks were still stuck in mortgage dinasaurus stocks n shares n derivatives n libor rate sandwiches age but even that had come unstuck

Gromit saw one bloke with a snow board this day… it’s a big fat ski – fancy a go? :)

Anyway – when you came up here you could mull over the world n have a chat over a coffee with your loved ones and hope and pray that the world could come to some new arrangement without the hinges coming off of all the human progress that were going on.

Amazin these digital Lowry boxes aren’t they – would you like one for your birthday Laurence?

L ” ooh Yes Please”

Anyway – recently we’d been having problems with our government blowin people up – children and families actually – all over the world and here in England a power station set on fire and recently 4 mushroom nuclear power stations were shut down for inspection to their inner chamber that had to be tested.

If it all went belly up -we had a small wind turbine in Bolton to power the local shopping centres and offices and relied heavily on politicians and war criminals for our none intelligence.

L “D’you mean bullshit” …

“We try to be polite in England but you got it in one.”

L “They used to burn turf in my day”

“I think the local Golf courses would have something to say about that Laurence”

Lets go down the hill shall we – can you manage ok on that snowboard?

It would be nice to paint a new landscape wi out coal and mi5 mossad cia triad whoever mafia mushroom violence.

L “Has the world got that complicated?”

G “You don’t want to know…”


Another innovation since you went to heaven … there were this bloke in Germany who applied physics to buildings and he came up with a design of building that could work anywhere in the world whereby the internal temperature could stay at around 20 degrees centigrade which is an all round useful temperature for human beings.

The indoor air quality and temperature has been proven to be especially useful for elders and youngens’ – also it saves them wasting their savings or the taxpayers taxes on

The trick were gettin people to look at buildings in new ways and apply new ways of changing them so they became more energy free.

Is that an angel on the tree?



No Coal

No mushrooms

No gas central heating.

No war and political crime.

L “What’s that noise?”

“Oh sorry Laurence – it’s a mobile phone.”

L “blinkin heck i’m having trouble keeping up”

” Yeah we’ll come and do the survey now – i’m bringin Mr Lowry with me

- he’s come back to earth to help us paint a better picture of 2015 onwards”

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Sun were setting fast on the fossil age. People all over the world were moving their money to clean ideas.

Some naughty people were in tears.

They hadn’t unlearned fast enough

“So after you passed to heaven Laurence – someone cleared all the industry out of England and we built shopping centres and drove things from thousands of miles away to Lancashire.”

They were like big barns with shelves in – you see them big white pipes – they lead off to the modern equivalent of the boiler room or is the turf room?

When you walk round these places they are about 30 degrees on the roof above and about 2 degrees on the floor – so it’s a bit like south of spain on the roof and we just don’t seem to know any better – until you look in a DIFF way.

L “that’s mi new studio Gromit”

G “It can be when we’ve retrofitted it to use virtually no energy…”

You’ll not need a coat on to be indoors – mid winter or todays Scottish 140MPH winds 70,000 wi owt power – and you’ll be walking around with your tee-shirt on. If power goes down – it’ll stay warm and everyone will be warm and happy until the weather clears.

Infact the more humans inside the better, they give of 100 watts per hour each and so it gets reall nice n cozy wi owt burnin coal – gas – nuko – or turf.

What about ventilation – well that were the innovation …

Look around all off them big box supermarkets all over the world and they are all the same cheapo metal sheds attached to the same mushrooms, gas or blobby turf generators.

It were a sign – trinity of trees and clock – it were time Gromit to move our civilisation towards the word civilisation.

It were going to be quite easy…

You could see the two blokes on the sign @ back runnin for the green exit to get the big bad green machine for the survey.

Dog on a hot tin roof Gromit.

What a mess we’d made – but what an opportunity for the North of England to become a great new power house by not burning power. From Dublin to Hull wi out BULL.

Anyway – back to building physics …

One of the problems with applying physics to buildings were the accuracy of measurement back into the supply chain and back again.

L “Is that another digital camera?”

G “Yes – but it’s different”

Ideal for measurements of glossy or dark surfaces!

Anyway – point one of these at the roof and…

A digital preview is displayed in 0.4 seconds on your computer.

L “Digital preview – 0.4 seconds – how does that work?”

G “triangulation by the light sectioning method,
using a Class-2 semiconductor laser to sweep

the target with laser light. In as

little as approximately 2 seconds,

a target is scanned with laser light that has passed through a slit,

and the reflected light is received by the 1.31-megapixel CMOS

sensor that provides high-resolution information.

The information is then converted into 3D data using the data for
distance to the target calculated
based on the triangulation prin-ciple.

One scan can obtain up to approximately 1,310,000 points

L “What’s 3d?”

G “Oh sorry Laurence – we made computers while you were away”

L “Crikey Gromit, your ancestors would be impressed, what’s 4 years interest free credit?” :)

G “It’s where people near forests get paid by people with ships, helicopters & guns to cut forest down and plank it over to all the worlds shops and they make it cheaper to you by money lending it you for four years by which time the hope you come back for some more primate amazon – they have no circular economy thinking where you bring it back and some new fabric goes on because the government ministers and people with ships, helicopters & guns are locked in a 4 year election cycle – get rich n die.
L “It’s a  fairy tail inside their minds?”
G “Aye… they are just starting to unlearn our collective madnessG “they could just deliver a 3d printer and it’d make the frame and then a nice local hand made cover goes on – but that is a big change in the minds of the furniture companies and customers -
Ohh – it’s already being done…

Should products come w/ deconstruction manuals for separating & recycling raw materials? Or just be designed better?

Thanks @xeniamo :)

PRECYCLING – were just cathin on Lowry

L “Precycling?”

G yeah – James Greyson@blindspotting  says

Every product has a risk of becoming waste. This waste risk can be insured and phased out. #systemchange @permagriculture @kaskadia

RT @permagriculture: @blindspotting writes about #Precycling here: … As part of #CircularEconomy @kaskadia

You had this very accurate digital model of the inside or the outside of buildings or whatever you scanned.
You could then either send it to the local manufacturer to put a new Fred Dibnah ventilation chimney in or Crowd print it.
L “I remember Fred”
L Ha – “He went round blowing all my chimneys up :)
L “We had some interesting talks – laughed alot”
Anyway …
Over in Germany there had been a break though.
So what we could now do was scan inside buildings – digitise it and manufacture insulated blocks with ventilation ducts inside them and then stick em inside or outside of the key buildings were were interested in UNheating and UNairconditioning and UNsillybillying, UNarguing, UNwarmongering, UNclimate-change-argumenting.
We could use crowd printing if we wanted to do it ENMASS so all the smaller homes maybe make smaller versions and big buildings like supermarkets – could even turn some empty supermarkets into NO ENERGY hostpitals ASAP? – Agriculture – the number one planet burners could rip out their heating systems & refrigeration n go zero – heros.
If we got smart – IF we got smart we could scan in the day, make sure the thermal calculations on the 3d model were thick enough for the climate you were printing for and leave the 3d printer to SPLOB it in over weekend?
Haven’t you heard?

15-Year-Old is Creating a 3D Printer ’10X Faster, Most Reliable & Advanced Ever’

Get crowd printing with that idea?
12M people Dublin to Hull + 10x faster?
Ha ha ha – open source goes faster ?
Aye… it does Gromit

A 3d printed  UnNuclear Uncoal Ungascentralheating UNpower station.


For Bolton and Lancashire

G “What do you think Laurence”

L “I can’t believe that things have come on this far Gromit, it’s totally changed my mind about human beings – on the one had it looks like your so close to all going to hell and on the other it looks like you could all be crowd printing your way out of the doggy doo. (crowd printing the new global manufacuring EVOLUTION – the UNsupplychain EG only when you need it just in time – sublime)”

Some big shareholders just lost alot of heating gas money… yep – hard to believe these men and women could loose so much money for pension funds when we can do things differnently – guess they haven’t unlearned yet… maybe they are saving up for a polar vortex holiday?

Apparently fracking brings ammonium and iodide to local waterways. 

Anyway – back to the unfurniture circular seating business…

G “this is the inside of a business that has 700M customers Laurence – they use lots of forest chip board from nolte moben panel makers, can’t be much future in it?”

Won’t be long before the forests are gone – what then?

Imagine if they went airwall crowd printing their interiors and going BIKEAT

L “You could definatley start to remake these sheds into very smart new spaces for civilisation to hunker down in the winter and summer heat waves – it’s be a whole new way of living – lots to do right across the Northern England.

G “Well Laurence we’ve got a national selection coming up in about 100 days where the nation get to pic their new leaders for another 4 years of frustration.” Should be interesting are you sticking around?

L “wouldn’t miss it for the world – got me thinking about some new paintings”

God Bless… human beings.

The food came off the roof – Manchester ArndaleManchester Trafford CentreIkea

From the Farms in Simple New ways


Solar football stadiums were boomin too.

Very little packaging needed off the fresh food roof.

We even stored some food in the BOG fridges – modern ones like… ha ha ha

 Are you a human?



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